Mother’s Day should be a day of appreciation!  For me, it’s complicated and brings mixed emotions .  I am grateful to be a mother, grandmother, and great-grand now.  However, I would love to be able to interact with my two moms, especially because they are both deceased and this is the first Mother’s Day that I’ve had in my life with the knowledge of my entire story.  I wish I could hold them and let them know how much I love them, rely on the lessons they taught me and pass on this mother code to my children.  They gave me a strong foundation directly and indirectly. These two women were the pillars of my existence. 

My first mother, some folks say, birth mother, Ruth Edwards was born in California, and her picture is on the right, but she moved to San Francisco with her family about 15 years before I was conceived.  She had a challenging childhood with parents that did not want children, and when she had her first child at 18 years of age, her parents allowed her to keep him.  When she became pregnant with me, the world and her environment were extremely different.

She wanted to keep her child, but instead, she held a secret.  My father or her other children did not know about me.  Her choice was real, and it took her stamina.  This decision had a psychological impact on her health, and she lived a life full of many health issues which became complicated with the rituals of Jehovah Witness practice.

I wish I could have seen her, kissed her and told her I loved her and that I do not hold her decision against her.  Happy Mothers Day Mommy.  I see you and thank you for your sacrifice and my life.

My mother who raised my Helen McClelland is on the left side of the photograph.  She was born in California also.  She loved to tell everyone that she was third generation Californian and that her heritage was mixed with African American and Blackfoot Indian.    She tried to conceive over the first ten years of her marriage.  When she realized she would not bear children, she decided to adopt five children of which I am the first.

My parents were also foster care parents and decided to provide a temporary home for over 250 babies with various needs.  Some were addicted, others had health issues, and the care for these babies was a family responsibility along with managing the farm space where we lived.

I learned everything from you how to interact with children, who also had to live with strangers.  How to be responsible and how to maintain a good work ethic.  At times it was difficult because you were a little distant and a bit ridged.  You meant well, and you wanted the best for me.  You were a rock!  Happy Mothers Day Mom. I thank you because you took me in when I had nowhere to go.